Day 1: Traditions and Miracles

[DATE]: Nov 11, 2013
[CASE #]: 1
[TITLE]: Meet the Holy Spirit
[PROFILE]: Bad Vices, Bipolar, Bad Relationships

I woke up depressed today.

I think this is just another depressive episode.. as usual.. i don't know where it triggered unless i analyze my brain where it started.

That's how i view myself when i am having attacks.. i know it was triggered but what?

So okay, i finally realized where it was coming.
I cant get what i want, my selfish desires as human being.. my needs not met.

When i do not know yet how to deal with selfish desires, i get confused!! Like it was hell all over my head, demons lurking all around!

I just want to shut off myself from thinking!

But I am happy i was exposed to godly friends who guides me on the straight path now.. I've been travelling to hell for almost 7 years and i think the last ride was with my yin yang. Funny.

Well i learned that, Gods's plan is better than our dreams. We may desire about things, but if its not His will, it will never happen. Well there's an exception though as with regards to free will, you can have the result that you wanted but that only gives you a natural result. The best result is when you let God do His will to you, the result are supernatural.

So being that positive, i think about it today but it was really hard to handle my depression today...

Since it was Tuesday, and i usually go to Victory for the Small group, i hurried to Galeria to attend the service.

During the time i'm going there, i cried.. part of me wants to just stay in my room and cry but i was thinking it would not help my negativity. I tried my best to attend the service and it did not fail me.

Before the service ends, the Pastor said to close our eyes and feel the Holy Spirit. From there i felt a cold air that touched my heart and it felt like it healed me miraculously.. My Service Group leader told me it was the Holy Spirit.

I feel so blessed.. and i want to claim that it totally took away my bipolar to this very special day.

Also, i was given the chance to talk to my Service Group Leader and clear up my thoughts about my confusion as to how i will know if it was God talking to me or if it was the devil persuading me to do bad things.

The only direct way to get His answer are through the bible.
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[Section from Daily Bread]

Q: What tradition is Jesus radically altering your life?
A: "When God interceded in our lives, when He lets us experience Him, our lives - our very view of the world - will change."

It seems that from this day on, i should expect that God will change me into a new person, my old self be gone... wild days are over :)