" I am exquisite" says my Lord.
"Dazzling, spotless, immaculate, superb..."
His love for me is perfect.
He is the greatest man.
His silence is beautiful to my ears, the most beautiful hymn.. solemn..
He is my Alpha and Omega.
His soul is everlasting. His thoughts profound.
I adore Him.. my Lord, my All.
You are the man I am looking for all my life. The man that will never leave me,
will never hurt me, always honest, always loving and understanding.
I have found the perfect man in you! I finally found you,my Lord.
With you I will never be anxious, with you I shall not fear.
I declare my Love for you and thank you for accepting me wholly, without any doubt,
even If I have wronged you, you stayed with me and start anew.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Pride and Arrogance Test
God was so good to answer that I have passed this crucial test. I thought I failed, but I won Victory.
I always thought that I am a very bad person and that I do not know how to seriously love somebody and I am too manipulative for them.
One of the people I loved before once told me, how I am not conforming with the moral laws and that I am too conceited and I am boring..
I was so hurt realizing that in the beginning. My life in hell had turned me into something that no one would ever want to be with for the rest of their lives.
I know he is right, God used him to make me realize how close enough I am to changing to be a better person.
I know I am a bad person and my logic was bad, I know that I am not the good person to be with.. but I tried my best to change to be a better person.
I never lied to anyone ever again, tried to really be honest and speak with my mind, tried to watch my words and kept myself humble even if at first it sucks to be not sinning... withdrawing from sin and keeping it to the right track was a challenge for someone like me.
I am used to lying to get what I want, used to cheating to get satisfied and used to not feeling any emotions whatsoever to other people.. I never cared genuinely.. but things turned upside down because God saved me and God will save anyone who genuinely get serious on changing.
I am sorry for being a bad person... this article had given me so much hope that I know I have changed for being the person God wants me to be. I thank God for making me feel I am in the right path now... and what I did with the previous person i loved.. was humility and genuine love.. I learned to let him go because I am still the wrong person at that time for him.. and I am not selfish enough to make him stay because I have no good thing to offer.
I pray to God.. that one day, I would finally find the right one for me.. but I have to be the right person first.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight/201404/how-end-the-right-partner
"I suspect that what many decent people in such relationships or marriages don’t realize, until they have endured a very long stretch of unfairness, is that their arrogant partner entered the relationship expecting special consideration. Much like in a dating relationship in which the party who desires the other more must accommodate the other’s wishes, the arrogant spouse assumes you will do more than half the work to compensate for your lower desirability. Their expectation sounds unreasonable, but arrogant people are image builders not truth-seekers." === hahaha I am guilty of this, but i already change that. Thought the book "Why men love bitches" are a good read but not. Psychology of man and Psychology of God is wayyyyy to different.
I would argue that neither the girlfriend nor the boyfriend in these scenarios is decent enough to marry. In each case, the person demeaned his or her lover. If the roles were reversed, you would never belittle anyone! Your worst headache might make you a bit short with the person, but never insulting. Their belittling behavior (including the use of the word “slut”—which a humble person would not use) signals their arrogance, a trait tied to deception and exploitation (5). === so both of us were arrogant then. I thought this is normal to people being in love to outburst their emotions. But now I realized that yes for a humble person, he/she can never belittle anyone even if we are angry.
When you try to dump the person after an outburst like the one described above, he or she might argue that they said they were sorry and it was only one mistake. But while a humble person acknowledges your right to leave and does not interfere with it, the arrogant person has an image to defend.
The trait of humility is a must-have that undergirds sincerity and the promise of a fair marriage.
When you do find that sincere, humble, fair-minded person, you might be shocked to discover how sexy he or she is. It might be overwhelming to finally share a passion based on discovering the person in front of you—free from the conventional gender roles and judgments. There is nothing to fear, however, because the formula for communicating remains simple: You always mean what you say. === at least I know now, Ive done it right. I thought all along I am a bad person, but in the end, I passed the test of Pride and Arrogance.
Thank you Lord for the final proof. Thank you Lord for freeing me from torturing myself for thinking how bad I am.
I always thought that I am a very bad person and that I do not know how to seriously love somebody and I am too manipulative for them.
One of the people I loved before once told me, how I am not conforming with the moral laws and that I am too conceited and I am boring..
I was so hurt realizing that in the beginning. My life in hell had turned me into something that no one would ever want to be with for the rest of their lives.
I know he is right, God used him to make me realize how close enough I am to changing to be a better person.
I know I am a bad person and my logic was bad, I know that I am not the good person to be with.. but I tried my best to change to be a better person.
I never lied to anyone ever again, tried to really be honest and speak with my mind, tried to watch my words and kept myself humble even if at first it sucks to be not sinning... withdrawing from sin and keeping it to the right track was a challenge for someone like me.
I am used to lying to get what I want, used to cheating to get satisfied and used to not feeling any emotions whatsoever to other people.. I never cared genuinely.. but things turned upside down because God saved me and God will save anyone who genuinely get serious on changing.
I am sorry for being a bad person... this article had given me so much hope that I know I have changed for being the person God wants me to be. I thank God for making me feel I am in the right path now... and what I did with the previous person i loved.. was humility and genuine love.. I learned to let him go because I am still the wrong person at that time for him.. and I am not selfish enough to make him stay because I have no good thing to offer.
I pray to God.. that one day, I would finally find the right one for me.. but I have to be the right person first.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight/201404/how-end-the-right-partner
"I suspect that what many decent people in such relationships or marriages don’t realize, until they have endured a very long stretch of unfairness, is that their arrogant partner entered the relationship expecting special consideration. Much like in a dating relationship in which the party who desires the other more must accommodate the other’s wishes, the arrogant spouse assumes you will do more than half the work to compensate for your lower desirability. Their expectation sounds unreasonable, but arrogant people are image builders not truth-seekers." === hahaha I am guilty of this, but i already change that. Thought the book "Why men love bitches" are a good read but not. Psychology of man and Psychology of God is wayyyyy to different.
I would argue that neither the girlfriend nor the boyfriend in these scenarios is decent enough to marry. In each case, the person demeaned his or her lover. If the roles were reversed, you would never belittle anyone! Your worst headache might make you a bit short with the person, but never insulting. Their belittling behavior (including the use of the word “slut”—which a humble person would not use) signals their arrogance, a trait tied to deception and exploitation (5). === so both of us were arrogant then. I thought this is normal to people being in love to outburst their emotions. But now I realized that yes for a humble person, he/she can never belittle anyone even if we are angry.
When you try to dump the person after an outburst like the one described above, he or she might argue that they said they were sorry and it was only one mistake. But while a humble person acknowledges your right to leave and does not interfere with it, the arrogant person has an image to defend.
The trait of humility is a must-have that undergirds sincerity and the promise of a fair marriage.
When you do find that sincere, humble, fair-minded person, you might be shocked to discover how sexy he or she is. It might be overwhelming to finally share a passion based on discovering the person in front of you—free from the conventional gender roles and judgments. There is nothing to fear, however, because the formula for communicating remains simple: You always mean what you say. === at least I know now, Ive done it right. I thought all along I am a bad person, but in the end, I passed the test of Pride and Arrogance.
Thank you Lord for the final proof. Thank you Lord for freeing me from torturing myself for thinking how bad I am.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Excerpt # 1
1. Just because someone stumbles and loses their way, does not meant they are lost forever.
2. And as frightening as it can be, that pain will make you stronger if you allow yourself to feel it. Embrace it. It will make you more powerful than you can ever imagine. The greatest gift we have is to bear their pain without breaking and it comes from your most human part - hope.
2. And as frightening as it can be, that pain will make you stronger if you allow yourself to feel it. Embrace it. It will make you more powerful than you can ever imagine. The greatest gift we have is to bear their pain without breaking and it comes from your most human part - hope.
Why do we wake up in the morning?
The ultimate question I always ask and wonder everyday of my life.
Been having too many struggles lately and I am perplexed with what to do with everyday battles.
Battles where I lose and win... I stumble and fall and tried to get up again.
Why was life so complicated to live? Or one can decide to make it simple or complicated? Surrendering to God is never easy, i am not used to not having control over what I need and want to do. But being obedient seem to be the only thing that could save me from hurting.
What was the will of God for me?
I am almost done with pruning phase, it was a hard process to accept that I am but a really bad person full of bitterness, selfishness, self-centered bitch, narcist, pride.. almost all negative traits i have it.. but God wants me to overcome everything to be pure. I am not used to being a good girl, but as much as I want to be in the right path, I have to seriously change for the better.
I lost a lot of people during this journey, and i even lost myself to the thought of being a new person.. i never saw the light until God gave me wisdom that He loves me so much He would not want to risk me being hurt again.
This may be hard today, but i pray and have faith that tomorrow will bring a better day.
Been having too many struggles lately and I am perplexed with what to do with everyday battles.
Battles where I lose and win... I stumble and fall and tried to get up again.
Why was life so complicated to live? Or one can decide to make it simple or complicated? Surrendering to God is never easy, i am not used to not having control over what I need and want to do. But being obedient seem to be the only thing that could save me from hurting.
What was the will of God for me?
I am almost done with pruning phase, it was a hard process to accept that I am but a really bad person full of bitterness, selfishness, self-centered bitch, narcist, pride.. almost all negative traits i have it.. but God wants me to overcome everything to be pure. I am not used to being a good girl, but as much as I want to be in the right path, I have to seriously change for the better.
I lost a lot of people during this journey, and i even lost myself to the thought of being a new person.. i never saw the light until God gave me wisdom that He loves me so much He would not want to risk me being hurt again.
This may be hard today, but i pray and have faith that tomorrow will bring a better day.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Vulnerability
"Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage." - Brene Brown
Friday, April 25, 2014
Teachings
God teaches me many things.
It was really hard to be as perfect as God, but through His grace, this is all possible.
I understand why people say they feel judged.. When people do wrong or bad things, we do not need to tell them they are wrong, we just have to show them. We have to be a living example that doing wrong things will not make them happy in the long run. And God is the only one that can judge us.
I say my sorry for those people who felt that I judged them. Its just that, I am still learning my craft, and I do not know yet how to handle it.
Humbling down. One of the hardest thing i ever learned in this walk. It is hard to humble down and say sorry.. I live life never saying this words.. now I have to learn to say it.. sincerely.
I hurt people, and they hurt me too.. but that does not mean I need to take on revenge. Even if I do not understand what it can do to me, being humble and forgiving just seems to be very important.
I wish I was able to learn this early on, but again, I have to move forward. Next time, Ill be more loving and more forgiving.
I do not know what's in store for me, and I hope that God would find a way to ease the pain my old life has caused me.
Beginning of change is the hardest step so one can enjoy the rest. This too shall pass.
It was really hard to be as perfect as God, but through His grace, this is all possible.
I understand why people say they feel judged.. When people do wrong or bad things, we do not need to tell them they are wrong, we just have to show them. We have to be a living example that doing wrong things will not make them happy in the long run. And God is the only one that can judge us.
I say my sorry for those people who felt that I judged them. Its just that, I am still learning my craft, and I do not know yet how to handle it.
Humbling down. One of the hardest thing i ever learned in this walk. It is hard to humble down and say sorry.. I live life never saying this words.. now I have to learn to say it.. sincerely.
I hurt people, and they hurt me too.. but that does not mean I need to take on revenge. Even if I do not understand what it can do to me, being humble and forgiving just seems to be very important.
I wish I was able to learn this early on, but again, I have to move forward. Next time, Ill be more loving and more forgiving.
I do not know what's in store for me, and I hope that God would find a way to ease the pain my old life has caused me.
Beginning of change is the hardest step so one can enjoy the rest. This too shall pass.
Friday, April 18, 2014
All or Nothing
Sometimes I cannot understand how God moves in our lives.
He let me experience the abundance of having everything, and now He is letting me experience nothing at all.
Everything was taken from me, but I am holding on to the thought that this is still in the process of my victory.
As for the story of Job, God blessed him with everything, but He took everything away too. Job did not stop worshiping and praising God until the day God decided to really take Him out of his misery and pain. That is what I am hoping for.
I trust the Lord that one day, as long as I walk with Him, ill be forever happy and never to cry again. Ill be victorious!
Surrendering to God was hard because you are living in a world where people are not walking the same path as yours. The narrow road is not something easy to take, but it will all be worth it in the end.
My past is gone and dead, i am new and alive once more. The journey to eternal happiness is at my hand already, I just have to wait for the break God will give me where He would tell me "Never to return again, this is the life I offer you, a life with me forever" :)
The feeling that all my sins are gone and I am just dealing with all the consequences of it, feels really refreshing. Its like you are cleaning your house and you are just checking anything dirty left from it, but in the end, the house is clean enough to make more room to happiness!!! I am so excited for the day God will clean everything in me!! I am actually clean already, well, super clean I guess :)
No more trauma of the past, no more bitterness in my heart, no more pain, nothing to hide. I am bold in your eyes O Lord. I feel so free and happy :)
Thank you Lord for all the happiness, from there i learned to give and thank you too for the pain, from there i learn to humble myself.
My love, if you will come back to me, I will never let you go again. If God's hand is holding yours too, I know one day we will meet again, just the same way He did when we first met.
I love my God, and I know He will make everything possible to make me the happiest person on earth and on Heaven above.
He let me experience the abundance of having everything, and now He is letting me experience nothing at all.
Everything was taken from me, but I am holding on to the thought that this is still in the process of my victory.
As for the story of Job, God blessed him with everything, but He took everything away too. Job did not stop worshiping and praising God until the day God decided to really take Him out of his misery and pain. That is what I am hoping for.
I trust the Lord that one day, as long as I walk with Him, ill be forever happy and never to cry again. Ill be victorious!
Surrendering to God was hard because you are living in a world where people are not walking the same path as yours. The narrow road is not something easy to take, but it will all be worth it in the end.
My past is gone and dead, i am new and alive once more. The journey to eternal happiness is at my hand already, I just have to wait for the break God will give me where He would tell me "Never to return again, this is the life I offer you, a life with me forever" :)
The feeling that all my sins are gone and I am just dealing with all the consequences of it, feels really refreshing. Its like you are cleaning your house and you are just checking anything dirty left from it, but in the end, the house is clean enough to make more room to happiness!!! I am so excited for the day God will clean everything in me!! I am actually clean already, well, super clean I guess :)
No more trauma of the past, no more bitterness in my heart, no more pain, nothing to hide. I am bold in your eyes O Lord. I feel so free and happy :)
Thank you Lord for all the happiness, from there i learned to give and thank you too for the pain, from there i learn to humble myself.
My love, if you will come back to me, I will never let you go again. If God's hand is holding yours too, I know one day we will meet again, just the same way He did when we first met.
I love my God, and I know He will make everything possible to make me the happiest person on earth and on Heaven above.
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